Duo's Big Pink Stapler of Doom
by BreezyBaby
Summary: What happens when Heero takes Duo's scythe and Duo's left weilding the big pink stapler of doom?


Duo's Big Pink Stapler of Doom  
  
______________________________  
  
It was the end of yet another long and tiring battle and Heero Yuy and   
  
Duo Maxwell were once again reparing their gundams. As usual Duo was trying   
  
to make conversation and Heero was, as usual, ignoring him.  
  
"How are you going to fix your gundam? You have no spare parts!" Duo asked as   
  
Heero surveyed the damage of his precious Wing Zero.  
  
"I'll figure out something." Heero commented in his usual monotoned voice.  
  
"Whatever." Duo hopped down from his gundam and headed towards his room.   
  
"I'm going to bed. See ya in the morning!" With that Duo closed his door, got   
  
into bed and fell asleep.  
  
The next morning Duo awoke to a banging on the door. He slowly rolled out of   
  
bed and opened his door.  
  
"What's the big deal?" Duo grumbled at the mechanic standing in front of him.  
  
"We've been robbed! That other pilot took all of the parts off of the   
  
Deathscythe and left!" The mechanic explained.  
  
"WHAT?!" Duo screeched as he ran into the hanger. Sure enough there was Duo's  
  
mangled Deathscythe with the Wing Zero missing. "Geez.... I can't believe that   
  
guy...." He mumbled to himself as he went over to make a damage assesment on   
  
the once magnificent gundam. "He even took my scythe!!!!! What kind of   
  
cleptomaniac is he?!" Duo turned to the mechanic. "Do we have enough parts to   
  
fix it?" He asked.  
  
The mechanic nodded. "Yes we do. But I don't know what we'll do about the   
  
scythe. That was the last one." The mechanic explained. "But I'm sure we'll   
  
figure out something."   
  
"Okay. We'll get started right away. I want to go after that guy as soon as  
  
possible." Duo said as he went into the storage room. The mechanic followed  
  
him. The two then started to repair the Deathscythe.  
  
A while later, the gundam was once again magnificent. Deathscythe had been  
  
completely repaired. All except for the missing scythe.  
  
"Looks almost as good as new." Duo complimented himself and the mechanic. "If  
  
only I still had my scythe. That would make it perfect." He turned towards   
  
the mechanic. "What are we going to do about a weapon. I can't fight if the  
  
Deathscythe is as unarmed as a little baby."  
  
"One moment." The mechanic then headed back towards the storage rooms. After  
  
about five minutes he came back out, driving a forklift. Poised on top of the   
  
forklift was a gigantic pink, metallic object. "Here we are. This is the best   
  
I can do."  
  
"Oh my God. You have got to be kidding." Duo exclaimend as he surveyed the   
  
object. "There's no way I could use that!"  
  
"It's the best we have. It will only be temporary. Just until we can build  
  
you a new scythe." The mechanic explained as he hooped off of the forklift.  
  
"But it's a STAPLER!" Duo yelled at the mechanic. "What am I supposed to do   
  
with that? Staple them to death?"  
  
"You'll figure out something." The mechanic told him. Just then the computer   
  
in Duo's room started to beep. Duo ran in to answer his mail.  
  
"Oh, great. I have to go destroy another base. Isn't this just great?" Duo   
  
complained sarcasticly as he headed back towards his gundam. "I guess I'll   
  
just have to use the stapler...somehow." With that Duo hopped into the  
  
Deathscythe, reached down and picked up the stapler. He then walked out of   
  
the bay and shot off towards his next destination.  
  
"I can't believe I have to do this." Duo grumbled as he reached the OZ base  
  
he was sent to destroy. "This is so humiliating." At that Duo charged forward  
  
and started shooting staples at the base, praying that they actually did some  
  
damage. Luck must have been on his side because one of the gigantic staples  
  
imbeded itself into one of the three huge gas containers, causing it to   
  
explode. That, in turn, blew up the other two containers beside it. The   
  
explosion managed to tear a good sized chunk out of the four main buildings  
  
and the mobile suit hanger.  
  
Duo stood a little ways away and watched the pandonium fold out in front of   
  
him. "I guess thats the best I'll be able to do for today." Duo mumbled as he  
  
turned and started heading away. "Time to go find Heero and get my scythe   
  
back." He typed a few keys in the Deathscythe and a map appered on the   
  
screen with one tiny red dot flashing on it. "Got ya." Duo whispered as he  
  
started on his journey to get back his beloved scythe.  
  
Two days later Duo was lying on a desserted beach beside his gundam. "Dang  
  
it. I missed him again! It's not fair!" Duo whined to no one in particular.  
  
"How am I supposed to get back my scythe if I can't even catch up to Heero?"  
  
He sat up and looked towards the Deathscythe. "Oh well. I should probably get  
  
going. Maybe I'll get lucky this time and he'll actually stay in one place   
  
for more than a few days." With that Duo climbed back into his gundam,   
  
located Heero and set off again on his seemingly never-ending quest.  
  
It was while he was looking for Heero that Duo recived another mission. Again,  
  
this one was to destroy an OZ base. Groaning, he accepted the mission and   
  
headed off to the next base.  
  
Luck must have been on Duo's side once again, for when he got there the base  
  
was completly desserted. "Good thing. No one will see this horrible excuse   
  
for an attack." Duo mumbled to himself as he started forward to complete his   
  
assignment.  
  
Unfortanitly, Lady Luck doesn't stay on one side for long. Just as Duo   
  
started his mission, a fleet of mobile suits approached the base. Duo cursed   
  
and searched around franticly for a place to hide. Finding none, he turned to  
  
face the oncoming threat, holding his stapler.  
  
As the mobile suits approached, they started to slow down and finally stop,   
  
only a few feet in front of the gundam 02. After a few moments of silence,   
  
one of the soldiers started to laugh. Then another. Laughter spred through the  
  
soldiers as if it was a plauge untill every last one was laughing at the site  
  
in front of them. Here was one of the gundams they had feared so greatly,   
  
stading in front of them completly defensless other then a gigantic pink  
  
stapler.  
  
'What kind of crazy soldiers are these guys? They shouldn't be laughing. They're   
  
about to be destroyed!' Duo thought as the laughter filtered through his communication   
  
systems. 'Well, I guess I'lll just have to teach them not to mess with the God of  
  
Death!' At that Duo went to raise his scythe and the laughing just intesified. It  
  
was then that realization dawned on him. 'Dang it! Heero still has my scythe! No wonder  
  
they're laughing. Stupid stapler!' Duo grumbled to himself as he stared at the pink metal  
  
contrasting with Deathsythe's black hand. "I can still beat them with this!" He shouted  
  
as he raised the stapler and started shooting the nearest mobile suit.  
  
The soldiers stoppped laughing imediatly as the barrage of staples started. That is,  
  
until the first staple hit the left arm of a mobile suit. The soldier just looked at it for  
  
a few moment before reaching over with the right arm and pulling it out, leaving almost  
  
no damage. Angered, the soldier aimed his riffle and started firing. Soon the whole fleet   
  
was taking shots at the Deathscythe.  
  
Duo started to panic. The stapler wasn't doing any good and he only had a few bullets in  
  
his cannons. That wouldn't hold off all of the mobile suits. In a last, desperate move,   
  
Duo swung the oversized stapler at the nearest mobile suit with all the force Deathscythe  
  
could manage. Lady Luck must have been on his side once again because the blow struck home,  
  
imploding one side of the mobile suit and sending it flying into the one beside it. Both   
  
suits exploded in an array of fire and metal. The battle, miracoulsly, continued on like  
  
this until the last mobile suit had fallen in a heap of twisted metal lying on the ground.  
  
"Looks like my work here is done." Duo said to himself with satisfaction as he surveyed  
  
the battlefield. "Now to get back my scythe." Duo once again set off after the infamous Heero  
  
Yuy.  
  
Two weeks, and three destroyed OZ bases later, Duo finally caught up with the scythe  
  
stealing Heero. They were somewhere in the desserted African desert.  
  
"I finally found you, Heero. Now give me back my scythe!" Duo demanded as he walked up   
  
beside Heero.  
  
"Go ahead and take it." Heero said as he finished a repair on Wing Zero.  
  
"What?!" Duo asked, shocked thath Heero would give up the weapon so easily.  
  
"I said:" Heero started. "Go ahead and take it. I have no use for it. It's such a dull   
  
weapon."he finished.  
  
Duo stared at him, dumbfounded. "Thats it? No arguments?" he asked.  
  
"Nope."  
  
"Geez... That was easier then I thought." With that Duo got back into Deathscythe   
  
put down the pink stapler and picked up his beloved scythe. Saying farewell to Heero, Duo set off   
  
towardshis next mission.  
  
Once Duo had left, Heero slowly walked over to the dicarded pile of pink metal. "Hmmm..."   
  
he thought out loud as he surveyed the stapler. "This could be useful."  
  
~~The End~~  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing or any of it's characters, etc.   
  
Author's Note: This story was made out of pure boredom. Yes, it's not very good. I know that. It  
  
wasn't actually intended for anything, so no yelling at me!!!!!!! 


End file.
